So as I was sitting on my couch watching reruns of Locked Up Raw last night, my mind started to wonder and I quickly found myself thinking ”hmmm…I wonder if any of these prisoners have ever been ‘touched‘ while behind bars?” (Touched is slang for raped.) Then I started asking myself “I wonder what songs the rapists play in order to get themselves in the ‘mood’? ‘”

And from those thoughts came the following playlist. “Songs that if heard in prison, should signal to you that you’re anal rectum has been targeted for HOURS of severe abuse. ”

First on our list is……..

J. Holiday’s “Put You To Bed”

If your prison bunkmate throws this bad boy on chances are he’s not looking for a quickie…he wants that slow, seductive, all night “loving”. Hope you like late nights and SUPER rough mornings.

 

Next up is R Kelly’s “Slow Wind For Me”

May God protect the man who’s bunkmate is in the mood for this classic throwback. Prepare your buttocks to endure slow strokes and sensual pelvic thrusts from Bruno once he presses play on this bad boy. SMH ( I’ll say a prayer for you.)

 

Third on our playlist is Mystikal’s high uptempo “Shake It Fast”

Now this track needs no introduction. The name itself is self explanatory. This musical backdrop is usually reserved for those looking for “a quickie” so the poor unlucky bastard who has to suffer anal abuse while it plays in the background will more than likely be expected to “throw it back” faster than Raz B at a IMX concert. (Poor guy)

Next up….

Foxy Brown’s “I Taste Just Like Candy”

0_0 You know what time it is when you hear this. Hope you had a light lunch.

 

And the number one song you absolutely do not want to hear in prison

Usher — -”Daddy’s Home”

Best believe you’re in for a workout if your bunkmate puts this on for you. Not even Baby Jesus can help you then.

And with that being said- - God speed.

Stay Out Of Prison!